Published by Paula the Surf Mom from Lesbiatopia

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77 good things about your fingers

1. You don't have to smile at them afterwards

2. You don't have to get out of bed to fetch them

3. They don't get tired before you do...

4. You always know where your fingers have been

5. For variety, you have ten to choose from

6. They are also useful *out* of bed

7. You can stop if you want to

8. Your fingers don't want to meet your family

9. Your fingers don't get jealous

10. Your fingers don't smell

11. Your fingers won't just fall asleep afterwards

12. Your fingers don't want you to meet *their* family

13. You don't get jealous of your fingers

14. Your fingers don't mind if you fall asleep afterwards

15. Your fingers won't let you down

16. Your fingers don't want to watch a football match instead

17. Your mother won't criticize your fingers

18. You can't get pregnant from your fingers

19. Your fingers don't need batteries

20. People aren't surprised to find you have them

21. Fingers don't need adapters to covert American plugs to English ones (I've heard this can be a problem.)

22. They don't shrink afterwards

23. You always have them with you

24. You can chew on them when you are nervous

25. You can use more than 1 at a time

26. They are agile

27. They'll never leave you

28. You don't have to make your fingers coffee in the morning

29. You can also use them to clean the wax out of your ears

30. They want to when you want to

31. They don't take up half the bed at night

32. They are easy to clean

33. If the ones you are using get tired, you can switch to some of the others

34. They don't demand acrobatics in bed

35. They don't want to try out stuff they heard from friends

36. You can use them to try out stuff *you* heard from friends without worrying about it going horribly wrong

37. They don't look worried when *you* want acrobatics in bed

38. Your fingers don't give you bite-marks (Addition: unless you *like* bite-marks)

39. You can share them with a friend

40. Fingers don't cheat on you

41. Fingers don't have hidden wives/girlfriends/husbands/boyfriends/children

42. Your fingers don't yelp when you give them bite marks

43. For variety you can paint them any color you want?

44. It's not suspicious if you take them to the toilet with you

45. Since they come on 2 hands, you can use them on 2 places at the same time

46. They write your e-mail for you

47. You can use them for netsex when company is required

48. They're compatible with a wide range of leather goods and electrical appliances

49. No one ever fell in love with her fingers

50. They'll change the video channel for you

51. You can use them to write down your fantasy and share it with people

52. They won't ask: Am I the first?

53. You can type with them

54. They won't be disgusted when you have your period

55. They don't snore, fart, burp or have smelly breath

56. They don't want you to swallow

57. They don't whistle after other, better-looking fingers

58. They don't care if your hair is a mess

59. You don't have to tell them how you'd like it

60. They don't brag how great they are

61. They don't cost you time, money or patience

62. They don't want to know where you were last evening

63. Your friends don't criticize them

64. Their friends don't criticize you (fingers don't have friends)

65. Afterwards, they won't ask: 'Did you come?'

66. They don't leave you to sleep in the wet spot

67. They don't mind if you scream 'oh yes, *METHOS*!!'

68. They're useful for scooping up chocolate, lube (take your pick) and smearing it in the appropriate places...

69. Fingers don't ask whom you are fantasizing about

70. They don't have STDs

71. Fingers are more sensitive to what you are feeling

72. Unlike zucchinis, you don't have to bring them to room temperature

73. You won't be crushed underneath them in bed

74. They come in varying sizes - thumb to pinkie, or any combination thereof; it's up to you

75. There're extremely courteous - they'll open doors for you, pull your chair out, and even cook you dinner!

76. They won't finish just before you reach orgasm

77. You don't have to worry whether or not they wont come back after a goodnight

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