| 1. You
don't have to smile at them afterwards
2. You
don't have to get out of bed to fetch them
3. They
don't get tired before you do...
4. You
always know where your fingers have been
5. For
variety, you have ten to choose from
6. They are
also useful *out* of bed
7. You can
stop if you want to
8. Your
fingers don't want to meet your family
9. Your
fingers don't get jealous
10. Your
fingers don't smell
11. Your
fingers won't just fall asleep afterwards
12. Your
fingers don't want you to meet *their* family
13. You
don't get jealous of your fingers
14. Your
fingers don't mind if you fall asleep afterwards
15. Your
fingers won't let you down
16. Your
fingers don't want to watch a football match instead
17. Your
mother won't criticize your fingers
18. You
can't get pregnant from your fingers
19. Your
fingers don't need batteries
20. People
aren't surprised to find you have them
21. Fingers
don't need adapters to covert American plugs to English ones (I've heard this
can be a problem.)
22. They
don't shrink afterwards
23. You
always have them with you
24. You can
chew on them when you are nervous
25. You can
use more than 1 at a time
26. They
are agile
27. They'll
never leave you
28. You
don't have to make your fingers coffee in the morning
29. You can
also use them to clean the wax out of your ears
30. They
want to when you want to
31. They
don't take up half the bed at night
32. They
are easy to clean
33. If the
ones you are using get tired, you can switch to some of the others
34. They
don't demand acrobatics in bed
35. They
don't want to try out stuff they heard from friends
36. You can
use them to try out stuff *you* heard from friends without worrying about it
going horribly wrong
37. They
don't look worried when *you* want acrobatics in bed
38. Your
fingers don't give you bite-marks (Addition: unless you *like* bite-marks)
39. You can
share them with a friend
40. Fingers
don't cheat on you
41. Fingers
don't have hidden wives/girlfriends/husbands/boyfriends/children
42. Your
fingers don't yelp when you give them bite marks
43. For
variety you can paint them any color you want?
44. It's not suspicious if you take them to the toilet with you
45. Since
they come on 2 hands, you can use them on 2 places at the same time
46. They
write your e-mail for you
47. You can
use them for netsex when company is required
48. They're
compatible with a wide range of leather goods and electrical appliances
49. No one
ever fell in love with her fingers
50. They'll
change the video channel for you
51. You can
use them to write down your fantasy and share it with people
52. They
won't ask: Am I the first?
53. You can
type with them
54. They
won't be disgusted when you have your period
55. They
don't snore, fart, burp or have smelly breath
56. They
don't want you to swallow
57. They don't
whistle after other, better-looking fingers
58. They
don't care if your hair is a mess
59. You
don't have to tell them how you'd like it
60. They
don't brag how great they are
61. They
don't cost you time, money or patience
62. They
don't want to know where you were last evening
63. Your
friends don't criticize them
64. Their
friends don't criticize you (fingers don't have friends)
65. Afterwards,
they won't ask: 'Did you come?'
66. They
don't leave you to sleep in the wet spot
67. They
don't mind if you scream 'oh yes, *METHOS*!!'
68. They're
useful for scooping up chocolate, lube (take your pick) and smearing it in the
appropriate places...
69. Fingers
don't ask whom you are fantasizing about
70. They
don't have STDs
71. Fingers
are more sensitive to what you are feeling
72. Unlike
zucchinis, you don't have to bring them to room temperature
73. You
won't be crushed underneath them in bed
74. They
come in varying sizes - thumb to pinkie, or any combination thereof; it's up to
you
75. There're
extremely courteous - they'll open doors for you, pull your chair out, and even
cook you dinner!
76. They
won't finish just before you reach orgasm
77. You
don't have to worry whether or not they wont come back after a goodnight
| 
 "77 GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOUR FINGERS")